I have always loved to read, and back when I was in high school, I loved to read very large books. I think I enjoyed the challenge that a thick tome presented, and also a story that didn’t just end right away. I would read fantasy, science fiction, historical fiction, adventure, fairy tales, and even saint stories. Reading was how I found my Confirmation saint, St. Thomas Aquinas. Reading was how I grew to love writing and it has been a great conversation starter over the years. Reading has also been one of the primary ways God has chosen to work in my life. By the grace of God, a book fell into my hands when I was seventeen that not only satisfied me for its size but also changed the way I thought about God.
This book was the spiritual diary of St. Faustina Kowalska – a big red book I found one day as I was looking for something to read. Looking back, I don’t exactly know why I enjoyed it at that age. Still, the way that St. Faustina wrote about her experience of the Mass, her time before the tabernacle, her discernment of her vocation, and especially her experience of confession made me re-think all of those things myself. I think it was one of the first times I really understood how these sacraments and parts of a life of prayer can be a real and tangible means of actually drawing closer to God.
I also needed her message of mercy. As St. Faustina writes in one of the most often quoted passages of the diary, Jesus says to her, “proclaim that mercy is the greatest attribute of God. All the works of my hands are crowned with mercy” (300). I needed to hear that God would love me and any sinner no matter what I ever did, and that the door to his mercy was wide open in the sacrament of reconciliation. I needed to hear how real his presence in the Eucharist was and how his presence in the host at Mass is a gift from his merciful heart. He is there and he pours out love from there, from his wounded heart.
I bring this up today because if today, October 5, weren’t a Sunday, it would be the feast day of St. Faustina. Her message of mercy was nothing new, but it was God’s timely reminder to the world to turn back to him. While we’re on earth there is always time to turn back to him. Plus, once we have received his mercy, our task becomes that of helping others draw near to God’s mercy also.
I think most Catholics have had the thought after Confession – “If the world ends now, that would be ok” – said with a grin. We recognize that the more time we have here on earth, the more time there is to mess up! But, seen in another light, the more time we have on earth, the more time we have to seek God’s mercy. Time is one of God’s greatest gifts. As St. Augustine comments on a passage from Psalm 60, he counsels us, “Don’t try to chop down the bridge of mercy after you have crossed over yourself. Let it remain in place forever” (Expositions of the Psalms, 60.6) This “bridge” is the time we have left on earth.
While we have the time, we can enter the door of the confessional, we can receive that mercy, God’s greatest attribute. We turn to St. Faustina today and ask her intercession to help us never fear the “size” of our sins or the love of God. Pray for us today, St. Faustina, and pray for all those in need of God’s mercy!