As Pope Benedict continues his treatment of this sometimes confusing and difficult topic of Purgatory, he offers a consoling and hopeful explanation of what this purifying fire of Christ might be like. He writes:
Some recent theologians are of the opinion that the fire which both burns and saves is Christ himself, the Judge and Saviour. The encounter with him is the decisive act of judgement. Before his gaze all falsehood melts away. This encounter with him, as it burns us, transforms and frees us, allowing us to become truly ourselves. (SS 47)
Perhaps our first thought of what encountering the gaze of Christ at our judgment might be like is something frightening to us. We might think of a disappointed, disapproving gaze, similar to what we may experience from others in our lives when they are not pleased with something we have done. Let us recall, however, that when admitted to Purgatory, we have died in the state of friendship with the Lord. We are not His enemies. Rather, who we encounter is the God who is love. Therefore, His gaze, thought it may be penetrating and perhaps painful, is a gaze of love and a gaze of mercy. Of this gaze, the pope continues:
His gaze, the touch of his heart heals us through an undeniably painful transformation “as through fire”. But it is a blessed pain, in which the holy power of his love sears through us like a flame, enabling us to become totally ourselves and thus totally of God. (ibid.)
An image from the Gospel comes to mind as I reflect on the effect of the gaze of Christ. It comes in the context of the Passion after Jesus had been arrested. Jesus had told Peter that before the cock crowed the following morning, he will have denied Him three times. Though Peter insisted that he would remain faithful, when faced with the prospect of suffering persecution for his association with Jesus, he indeed denied the Lord three times. In Luke’s Gospel, the moment after this third denial is described in this way: “Just as he was saying this, the cock crowed, and the Lord turned and looked at Peter; and Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, ‘Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times.’ He went out and began to weep bitterly.” (Lk 22:60b-62)
The look of Jesus on Peter was not a look of condemnation or ridicule, but a look of mercy, a look of love, which penetrated Peter’s heart, melting away the falsehood of his own strength, his thinking he would remain faithful to the Lord in the face of trial. The gaze of Jesus helps to burn that pride away so that Peter can begin again from a place of humility and trust in the Lord, giving him the strength to continue following the Lord. It was a painful experience for Peter, but it was transformative, and one that would prepare him to love Christ more.
When we go to confession, we would do well to pause and consider the love with which Jesus looks upon us, purifying our hearts with His gaze and words of mercy, giving us the strength we need to begin again and follow Him with greater humility and trust in His grace.