As Pope Benedict continues his consideration on the topic of eternal life, he brings to our awareness an inner contradiction that so many of us face this side of eternity. He writes:
On the one hand, we do not want to die; above all, those who love us do not want us to die. Yet on the other hand, neither do we want to continue living indefinitely, nor was the earth created with that in view. So what do we really want? (SS 11)
From that question, the Holy Father asks a deeper question – what is eternity? and what is life? Then, citing some of the writings of the great St. Augustine, the pope offers this important point:
looking more closely, we have no idea what we ultimately desire, what we would really like. We do not know this reality at all; even in those moments when we think we can reach out and touch it, it eludes us. “We do not know what we should pray for as we ought,” he says, quoting Saint Paul (Rom 8:26). (ibid.)
Perhaps we can find this logic somewhat confusing, and even maybe a little frustrating. How is it that St. Augustine can suggest that we do not know this reality at all? Is God in someway hiding the truth from us? Is that the way a loving Father should treat His children?
I am reminded of an analogy that somebody proposed to me at some point that helps me in grasping this somewhat confusing point made by St. Augustine. We can consider married couples, and how certain couples cause us to scratch our head. How can that relationship work? What do they see in one another? They seem so opposite! For us who stand outside of the relationship, it seems to make no sense. But to the couple, who are inside of the relationship, it makes all the sense in the world. Their love for one another is special and unique, in a way that those on the outside may never appreciate, but which to them is a source of great joy and peace.
Outside of Heaven, we can never fully appreciate what awaits us. We are outside of that relationship, in a sense. Only when we get to Heaven will we fully appreciate its beauty and its goodness, how life there far surpasses any experience of life here. This is at the heart of St. Paul’s words: “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Cor 2:9)
This analogy is not perfect, but I find it helpful when we struggle with looking forward to the unknown of eternal life, wondering if somehow we might be let down, and if it would be better to just remain with what is familiar and comfortable. As I have said before, when we get to that place, we will not be disappointed.
Thankfully what awaits us in eternal life is not totally hidden from us, for through the gift of our baptism and the life of grace, we already begin to share in the relationship of love with God. After all, Heaven, more than anything else, will be about just that, our resting in the fullness of the Father’s love for eternity. Let us pray that the Lord will increase our desire for this gift, and while we struggle with not yet seeing what awaits us, be at peace knowing that when we do see Him face to face, we will on longer question, no longer fear, but rest in His peace.